Living Life On A $1.96

I just spent the half hour walking around in the rain, trying in vain to keep myself from crying, tears mixing with the piercing droplets before my shielded eyes.

Guilt is a thing I've rarely experienced, well true guilt, not a fake guilt that is used to make the other person feel better. I can't handle this type of guilt. This guilt will eat at me, sink into my flesh like a japanese water torture, drip by drip till it drills through my skull to my brain, yet even then the parallel to japanese water torture wouldn't even begin to touch how my soul is, it is falling apart at the seams, tearing preconcieved notions and releasing feelings i didn't know possible, some good some bad.

Yet, I am right now only focusing on myself when there is someone out there that is hurting a terrible hurt, who I hurt deeply without realizing it, and you I continued to hurt by my denial of self and of truth. By hurting him I've wounded myself in the process and am not fit to live the life I've been living. If I'm ever going to live a life I'm proud of I'm going to have to change right now.

Kyle, I love you.

I'm so sorry I hurt you.