Living Life On A $1.96

Part 5

Fuck, he's drunk

Well this post is extremely belated, but last weekend Kyle smashed himself, practically ran himself against a brick wall nine times. Downed nine Amber Bocks, I'd call him an idiot, and I did, but its not right. If he had been drinking socially I would have been like, damn, he's such an idiot, but he drank alone, and for the wrong reasons, which we talked about, and I don't think that'll be happening again anytime soon.

But for comic relief it was quite hilarious talking to him while he was in such an inebriated state. For one, when he drinks one or two, his voice becomes real smooth-makes me shiver with delight. But after nine, it was like every statement was a question and at the end of each sentence his speech got quicker. But the quite hilarious thing was the fact that he was proud he could spell well while drunk.


Other than a few other sentences I think our 2-3 hour conversation last friday consisted of Kyle saying "I love you" and "I'm sorry babe," and I reminding him it was okay. Oh and about the fact that it's hypocritical that he would tell me not to go get drunk and then get drunk himself.

All in all it was quite hilarious, and caused more growth in our every growing relationship.

Part 4

Damn, I miss him!

So here it's been how many days since I chose this as part 4? I don't remember but it seems that the initial reason why I was missing Kyle has vanished from my memory. Maybe it was because he was drunk and I thought I should have been there to stop him, or maybe just because I have this enormous desire to be with the man that I've fallen for.

Either way the reason has left me, but the feeling is still there, and has been recharged based on a small yet momentous event that occured in the Redmond residence, (my roommates house, if you didn't know, she's a townie)

we were celebrating this guy mike's birthday, a friend of my roommates sister, anyways, a wierd bunch if you ask me--trekkies and the like. But, thats a digression. Right as mike was about to leave, in walked this girl. Mike was talking caring his cake already to go and then he turned around, and he saw her, and immediately his face brightened, he glowed. I mean this man turned completely into a new man. They embraced, he was just stunned, kissed, embrassed, spoke words that meant very little, except for "I love you." And it reminded me of how I see Kyle's face brighten up when I see him, how he seems like a new man everytime I do.

Everytime I see him i see this growth and almost a re re re something, I can't discribe. It made me want to come and surprise him so much i almost jumped in my car and sped toward Rolla, but the moment only lasted so long, and reason set in, and i stayed longing, waiting till I get to see him.

I know the wait will only making the meeting sweeter, but right now is hell.

Part 3

Mystery not such a Mystery

This weekend I went to see a musical entitled The Mystery Of Edwin Drood. It's not much of a mystery why I went; my roommate practically forced me because she didn't want to go by herself and picked out the shittiest seats, of which I obtained the shittiest of the shittiest, because she was the one who really wanted to see the musical. Anyway it cost me 5 bucks that I'd like back, or at least partially back. The concept of this musical is that the company plays a company that is part of the musical, you see both the production side of the musical as well as the musical itself and they let people vote on the ending of the play, or at least that's what they pretend they are doing. But really there is no way they are tallying your votes and everyone knows this, yet everyone still votes. That's the only Mystery here. Why do people participate in something they know is false?

Anyway, other than the lack of Mystery the musical was marvelous. The actors and actreses are superb. And I keep hearing the actresses and actors at this school are also superb in many other not so school appropriate acts. Interesting, but no Mystery there. I really wish Kyle could have been there, because he would have loved one of the scenes, absolutely loved it

Damn, I miss him.

Part 2

An Artichoke

One might not realize the importance of everyday objects in ones life. For less than $1.96 I gave myself a night with my family, except it wasn't really a night with my family. It was a night with a memory and a good one at that. A time of reflection. But now it is much more, now it is a thought of the future, a thought of things to come.

I went to wal-mart and bought for the first time

An Artichoke

This I had never done on my own. I bought plastic wrap and searched high and low for a small thing of butter to no avail. I ended up stealing some from a convenient store, you know those little packages of country crock margarine. I couldn't have

An Artichoke

without butter, that's just not right. I cut of the ends and the top and I placed it in a plastic bowl. My mind kept saying, "this is too small, this is not right," but I wanted

An Artichoke

I filled the bowl with water, and placed the plastic wrap on over it, but it would not stick, water would leak out all over the microwave when I steamed it, but I wanted

An Artichoke

It got so hot, but I couldn't wait for it to cool to get it out of the hot water. I tried with a fork and the knife I had to transfer it out of the water bowl to another, it feel on the floor but I just picked it up and ate it anyway. Five second rule applied; I wanted

An Artichoke

I sucked the leaves dry and cut out its heart, I devoured

An Artichoke

This is something my family and I have done together for many years, and to do it alone felt very odd, I've decided this should only be family affair. Something I will do with my children and I hope they will do with their children. It's a way to sit around the table and talk about the day, while getting your quarrles out while you fight over the last piece of heart. But this is the strange part, the fighting stops, each person tends to give up their rightful part of the heart, and the sharing of the heart begins. These are the wonders of

An Artichoke

Part 1

The Struggles of College

For some reason Truman State feels its job, nay, its pleasure is to to load us down, and push us to where we are just about to quit then rope us back in. Truman goes above and beyond most other colleges in this aspect. As I have come to understand it, it is not for the benefit of the Truman student. No, I believe it to none other than a political conspiracy. Most faculty will agree with me on this fact and one has promised to back me up on this.

Truman State was not always Truman State; it was a normal school (teachers teaching teachers and all that crap). And we all know that the world needs teachers, so why then did the legislator vote to change Northeast Missouri State University, a factory producing teachers, to the states premier public liberal arts school?

I'll tell you why.

Legislators realized that the best way to rope in middle class citizens, which happens to often make caring, intelligent teachers under the right training, and turn them into teachers is to offer them at least the hopes of getting a well paid job. Legislators realize that middle class citizens in their efforts to support their family unit tend to push their children to obtain jobs that will pay well. Teaching, unfortunately, doesn't pull a lower middle class family away from the poor/middle class borderline.

Now here's the facts, Truman State University is a better teacher making factory that Northeast Missouri State University, graduating more teachers than it ever has. Coincidence or Conspiracy?

This plan can only work though if the school pushes its students to his or her brink or teaches them so much about everything that he or she can't specialize enough to get a job in this society which pushes specialization. Students fall back on the fact, well, at least I can teach, and make themselves believe that that is where they are most happy.

Anyways this really has little to do with me, other than being pushed to the brink and wanting to be flaky like this school wants me to be. I will not let this school mold me, instead I will take what they give me and mold them. I've begun the process of figuring out what I want. Last week I went to the career center and took a few tests, I spoke with professors, and I spoke with my advisor. All before I registered. It was quite a busy week for me in terms of decision making- one of the few things I suck at.

These are the decisions I made:
1. Continue with the physics major, at least untill I get my minor, then more decision-making will occur.
2. Begin working towards a minor in Environmental Studies
3. Get involved in ECO the environmental awareness group on campus
4. Set aside time to continue with art, Laura and I plan to turn half of our dorm next year into a studio so we can both produce art without feeling out of place, where when we get the urge to paint it's not a hassle to get materials and clear a space
5. Make my own decisions.

O.k. O.k. so it seems that I don't follow through with my promises very well. You came to the site and were like "Where is that big update she was saying we'd get?" O.k. maybe you don't, maybe it's your first time to the site, or you don't really care. Anyways, I'm following through now. But I don't feel like I can sit here and say everything in one sitting so I've decided to space out my giant update into 6 parts

Part 1-The Struggles of College
Part 2-An Artichoke
Part 3-Mystery, not such a Mystery
Part 4-Damn, I miss him
Part 5-Fuck, he's drunk
Part 6-Another Promise unfullfilled

Too see all there parts tune in at our regular time.

Um... what's our regular time.

Well just tune in